Inside the Mind of a Lovesick Teenage Girl

Today was
A glorious day
The morning brought much
Happy news
By noon I was
Skipping away
Moving too fast
To feel the blues

The wind
Was blowing my hair in my face
I didn’t care

I tripped
Running up the stairs
I didn’t care

Cheeks rosy red
Giggling and smiles
Fluttering heart
Beating wild
Anticipating
Almost done waiting
Just
To see you

Hormones racing
Head spinning
Legs like paper

I fall into my seat
Smiling stupidly
Daring to meet your eye

You’re turned
Back to me
But still I look and look

Drinking you in
Your hair, your skin
Your clothes, your stance, your arms, you
Turn
Not to me

Deep breaths
Deep breaths
Deep bre-
You looked at me

Deep breaths
Deep breaths
Deep bre-
You smiled in my direction

Deep breaths
Deep breaths
Deep bre-
You said hello

I can’t contain
Myself
I blush

I say hello softly
Feel the rush

I speak to you
Later still
You look
Tired
Of me?

You say tersely
“Mm-hmm”
Not looking at me
What does this mean?

You were tired
Long night
I smile

You were bored
Talked too long
Tomorrow you’ll smile again

You were annoyed
I talked too long
I frown
Plan to talk less

You were angry
You didn’t want me there
A blue wave pulls me under

I
Go
Over
In
My
Mind
All
Day
Wondering
What
It
Was
You
Meant
When
You
Said
“Mm-hmm”

I walk home
Fast
When I sleep
Think

Trying to forget
The words you said
Running and running
Inside my head
And I can’t see
A reason why
For the words you said
That won’t make me cry

I stay awake
Longer
I’m still awake
Hours later
Asking myself
Why
You hate me

I need distance
I can’t seek you tomorrow
I’m only
Torturing myself

This perfect day
Only because I saw you
Is a terrible day
Only because I lost you

Maybe you were tired
Maybe I am wrong
Maybe…

The next morning
Unexpectedly you’re there
In the hall
You pass me by

Didn’t see you coming
But I felt the shivers
Strongly when
You smiled and said hi

I begin to blush
I clutch my books tightly
There’s a skip in my step
Unhappiness melts away

Unconcerned
With where I go next
Because you smiled at me
On this perfect day

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