Alone outside, except for the air, swirling around me
I can see the moon, high in the sky
The night is calm.
The wind swirls around me and stirs up the grass
Lifts my hair off my shoulders
Then, the world is still, as though time stopped itself
I run through the fields, my eyes a blur
I cannot see where I am headed, or what I have passed
I can only see the images that fill my mind
And the glistening water of my watering eyes
I finally slow at a river’s edge
I kneel down, and recite my pledge.
The next time you need a sweater when you’re cold, I will give it to you.
The next time you need to fix something, I will give you the glue.
The next time you need me, I will be there for you.
There is no next time though –
And no more you.
I am now drowning, not in the river, but in the secrets I kept from you.
In the guilt that you never knew, and you died this soon.
I miss you.
I love you.
I hope you forgive me.
If I am ever blue, I have happy memories of you
I remember when there still was a you
I miss you, I love you.